Ay, yi, yi....

Sean,

Just when I think I have things all under control and I am in command of everything in my life, something creeps up and slaps the shit out of me to remind me that I'm really not. Everything I see, everywhere I look, hell even things I think about make me think about you. Don't get me wrong...I wouldn't have it any other way but I just feel like somedays I can get by with my thoughts being my own. I would trade everything I have and most of who I am to see your face again. I want to sit and watch youtube videos of 80s cartoons, I want to go see new movies with you. I want to be able to do all those things I took for granted and this time know that each and every single one of those moments is special.

I keep trying to tell myself to live my life with no regrets but I fail miserably every time I think that way. I want my old life back. The one that had you in it. The one where we made a whole person instead of me sitting here alone. I want your cooking back and I want you to tell me I'm doing something wrong. Mostly I want the pain to go away. That's my biggest problem, I can't stop hurting. I can force myself to focus on something else and I can make myself do the things I know I need to do but I can't make myself stop missing you. And I don't know if I would if I actually could.

Missing you like crazy, babe

Wes

P.S. Here's some Kidd Video for you.